Its five years since our wedding bells
Time to come clean now, Theres someone else!

Call it frivolous, this five-year-itch
But the bottomline is, its time to switch

To my new-found love, mysterious girl
My beautiful babe, my precious pearl

She’s the sweetest thing, she’s heaven-sent
She’s just like you but so different

For starters she’s ultra-nice
Although I confess: I’ve just seen her twice

But enough to discern a stunning grace
Enough to fall for her angelic face

Enough to know she has a heart of gold
And unlike you, she does what she’s told!

Unlike you, she’s super-smart,
And she’s genuinely interested in ancient art!

She can sing Bilaval and she can play Bach
And in her spare time she studies bottom quarks

Watching TV all day isn’t her style
When she’s alone, she contemplates a while

Talking to her beats all worldy joys
For she leaps around when she hears my voice

When I meet her for real, in a month or two
There’s no telling what I might do

I may jump with joy (hope you’ll understand)
I may go weak at the knees when I hold her hand